five stages of dying

elisabeth kubler - ross, in her 1969 book "on death and dying," applied the stages of dying (a.k.a. the stages of grief)to any form of catastrophic loss -- of family, a job, a loved one. studies say it doesn't have to come in chronological order, nor one does have to experience all stages. these stages do not pertain to loss of life per se, but also of routine, friendship, even customary activities. any change in one's way of life may bring about these stages.

let me delve deeper into the stages.

stage 1: denial - the initial stage, "this can't be happening." it takes time for people to accept changes. change puts a stop to continuity, to fluidity of things that a person has grown accustomed to. the world will never be the same without that one thing that used to be part of it.

stage 2: anger - the common question: "why me? this is unfair!"
this is where all the blame comes in. one can blame himself, another person, or even god for the mishaps he has experienced. intense anger can build up and a person can think of ugly things towards others, like hurting them intentionally, and to extreme cases, taking his own life.

stage 3: bargaining - "let me be so i can be"
this is where a person bargains for something just to pacify an immediate need. a powerful coping mechanism and a vain expression of hope that bad news is reversible.

stage 4: depression - the final realization of the inevitable.
it finally dawns on a person that "death" is inevitable. we all go through it, and some experience it early on in life, some later. a person prepares himself for the final battle -- giving up on the belief that it is over and it will never come back to how it was like before.

stage 5: acceptance - "i'm ready, i'm going to be okay"
after exhausting all the efforts to bring things back, finally, a stage that finally makes one accept his fate. to the hopefuls, like goes on for them. they seek better friendship, relationship and endeavors. one continually seeks for more productive things, healthier relationships and more caring affinities. bottom line: life goes on.

i'm not sure what stage i'm in right now. i just hope to accept things already, heal from my wounds and learn from this experience.