Decisions, decisions

I firmly believe that happiness is a choice. And so is moving on. From now on, I’m moving on from things that has brought me immense pain. For a time, I’ve exhausted all my efforts, time and energy to one thing that I thought has a chance. I just told myself that in due time, I’m still gonna have it back. Things happened so fast and I think it’s God’s way of telling me that I have to give up the dream.

On blogging and lipgloss

I chanced upon one of our local celeb’s blog and I’m just so elated to read her posts. She seems very normal like everyone of us. She is also vulnerable to pain, very open to life’s mysteries and questions. She isn’t afraid to share her thoughts. You can tell she is an intelligent being by being inquisitive. I admire her strength to face her daily challenges. Above all, I admire her faith in God. In everything she does, she never ceases to praise God. I wish to develop my faith further. I just need to trust HIM in everything I do. As long as I accept HIM as my savior, for sure, I’ll be in good hands.

She also mentioned that we must always search for mundane things that make us smile. It will definitely make a difference and make our load lighter. At this point in my life, I badly need things that will really ceaselessly cheer me up. I’m being subjected to a challenge that really tests my character. So let me start by saying that a yummy lipgloss like Victoria’s Secret’s Beauty Rush line in Crème Femme really makes me smile. It’s addictive because it not only smells and tastes yummy, it brightens up any dull face as well. If only life can be this easy…

New 'do

Im glad my friends decided to hear mass at Greenbelt yesterday so I was able to join them. Before that, I decided to have a haircut, a bob ala Katie Holmes. I’ve been itching to have that ‘do for quite some time now and I hardly had the attention to do my work all day, daydreaming how I’d look like sporting that fab hair. So at exactly 5:31, I breezed through the halls of my office and rushed to Fix salon to have my hair done. I just love the outcome! I’m just so elated to have my old hair back. I feel so light…

Speaking of light, the priest had a sermon about traveling light. He reminds us not to hold grudges towards others. It will help us breeze through life. I mean, we won’t go wrong if we leave our baggage behind and perhaps lift it up to God. For sure He will not disappoint us.

It also dawned on me that I’ve spent most of time attending to things that really didn’t matter, or things that didn’t need that much attention. My devotion was diverted AGAINST God. This time, I believe, that God is speaking to me, asking me to spend more time with HIM. You know, I told Him I might trip occasionally, but He will be my partner from now on. I know He will not hurt me, He will not fail me.

this will be the first time that i'm discussing this thought to myself: I might consider (this is still tentative right?) going to the states… for good? To work? I don’t know yet. But I already got an invitation from my Tito Mongget, for a vacation to say the least. We all know this is (or used to be?) the farthest thing from my mind. But people do change, they can decide on things one minute, then change preferences the next.

But right now, Im seriously considering it. Especially if things don’t turn out the way I hoped for.

Bonne chance!

After 20 long years, I was able to see my cousins for the first time -- Aimee, Ross, Raymond & Ryan. They haven’t changed a bit, I mean I recognized them the very minute I laid eyes on them. Aimee cut her hair short as in cropped, Ross grows beard (tolerable according to my standards), Raymond dresses well (and the tallest among the brood) and Ryan, my “baby,” didn’t grow much (hehe). I was so happy to see them again. Gee, I never imagined we’d still see each other in this lifetime. Good thing Tito Mongget loves surprises and they were really planning to inform us of their arrival a day before. One of the smart ones told him that we might go somewhere so we have to be informed at once. Even the kids weren’t informed about the trip until recently. No idea of their itinerary even.

I’m just so jealous their planning a trip to El Nido (drool). I wish I could come but they’ll be staying there for a week. That’s too long, man! I have work. Plus, I don’t have cash to burn. Hehe.

It was a total nosebleed, you know, talking to them! Haha! Just kidding. Good thing their folks are so used to speaking Tagalog at home so they could perfectly understand the dialect. They’d just answer back in English though. But that’s not bad huh?

They brought a lot of American mags with them (gossip mags! Woohoo!). They got me a Juicy Couture bag & wallet. Lipgloss, perfume & an oversized red bag (I just sooooo love it). Aimee also got me this cocktail ring (locket). It’s so cute I can’t take it off my finger.

We had dinner at Abe in Serendra. Wouldn’t wasn’t that great. They serve Kapampangan dishes. Would u believe, Aimee ordered crickets??? Ross even tasted it (he’s a bit picky with food. I remember him being the fastfood type). Raymond & I were hesitant to try it at first, but we decided to give it a go.

Raymond and Ryan are more sociable than the two. Aimee is mahinhin and Ross needs to socialize more.

Will tell you more about our adventure soon.

Ciao!

a song i find so sad but happens to most of us

I CANT MAKE YOU LOVE ME
Bonnie Raitt

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, dont patronize - dont patronize me

Cause I cant make you love me if you dont
You cant make your heart feel something it wont
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and Ill feel the power
But you wont, no you wont
cause I cant make you love me, if you dont

Ill close my eyes, then I wont see
The love you dont feel when youre holding me
Morning will come and Ill do whats right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Cause I cant make you love me if you dont
You cant make your heart feel something it wont
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and Ill feel the power
But you wont, no you wont
cause I cant make you love me, if you don’t

im here!

shall i show my annoyance on my very first blog? i dont care. would you believe somebody asked me about how much i weigh? are you kidding me? what the hell she cares??? i dont believe in numbers you, know. they just make you feel (1) old (2) fat (okay, overweight) (3) stupid (4) doesnt know anything about math. whatever the case may be, i don't like it. i crunch numbers everyday for crying out loud! i get to face financial statements day in day out, so why should i want it? i didnt study psychology for this.

anyway, thanks, cha, for persuading me to create my blog! this is so cathartic.