birthday miracle, part deux

i think i got my fervent birthday wish, that is to witness a miracle.

i woke up at around 8:30am,and it was raining so hard. i was too lazy
to get my ass off the bed. i was thinking, damn,i bet it'll rain the
whole day. paano kami makakalabas ng bahay? after an hour of moping,it
finally stopped. the bright yellow sun started peeking out as if that was
its way of telling me it will not spoil my birthday. true enough,the
sun was shining strongly the whole day. it gave me a very hopeful
feeling,to think we should be expecting a storm.

i guess that's GOD's way of telling me that my sun will be shining
bright soon,when i least expect it. you see,i've been wallowing in misery
for quite some time now,and i've been praying sincerely that GOD grants
me peace. i need to heal. i need acceptance. most of all,i need to
forgive myself. i think i have forgiven the person who has caused me
this,but i think i haven't forgiven myself. the feeling sucks,and i guess
that's the main thing that continually drags me down this bottomless pit.
i want to free myself from this.

i believe that GOD will give me this. i know there is hope. i trust
that HE will heal me.